Oh, Nicky, thank you for sharing your powerful and moving story. In once sense, it’s an ordinary thing, a common thing, a daily occurrence — but in another sense, it is — to white people — an extraordinary thing, an unheard-of thing, a surprising revelation. Your story, and the thousands (millions!) of stories like it, need to be told in settings where white people will hear it or read it.

I was on leave from my duty station in the US Navy, and came home to visit family. My best friend, a white guy named Terry, didn’t join the Navy. He stayed right there in small town America and bought a Trans Am with money from his job. We were out late one night in his car, and on a dark country road he took it up to over a hundred miles per hour. Impressive! But then the flashing lights of a police car appeared behind us. Terry pulled over. He told me, “Put your hands on the dashboard,” and he turned on the dome light. This was entirely new to me, and I said, “Okay, but why?” Terry said, “The cop has a gun, and it’s dark. We want him to know that he’s in no danger from us.” As you can see, I’d lived a sheltered life. That wouldn’t even have occurred to me.

But — I’m white! For a black man in rural Idaho, I can’t begin to imagine the danger that would be created by that same situation. For you, even crossing a busy street with a traffic control officer has potential for real and lethal consequences.

Thank you for sharing your story.