Member-only story
(And How To Spot A Fake Apology)
One time I was afraid I would lose my job, so I apologized to my boss. But it was a lie. I was right, and my boss was wrong. I had done nothing to apologize for.
On the other hand, I’ve done plenty of wrong things that I really did need to apologize for. I’ve hurt people’s feelings more times than I can count. Some of them were friends, some of them were strangers, and — all too often — they were family.
In my experience, we don’t apologize enough. We offend more often than we care to admit. Most of the time we just wait it out, without apologizing, and after a while the hot tempers cool down. But this is a short-sighted, damaging way to handle the hurt we inflict.
If you want to be a healer, you need to learn to apologize. Because, face it, sometimes you’re just plain wrong.
So, here you go. I’ve taught this four-step method of apology many times over the years. To my knowledge, this is the first time I’ve put it in writing. It’s a summary of what the Bible teaches about apologizing.
Step 1: Confess
This step is often left out. We go straight to the apology and just say, “I’m sorry.” But it’s healing — so healing! — to the person you hurt. Speak it out loud, even if they already know it. Hey, maybe they’re the one who caught…