Member-only story
What causes a pre-teen to consider taking their own life? I can tell you, from personal experience.
I suppose the story starts when I was a happy-go-lucky ten-year old, near the end of fourth grade, with not a care in the world. We lived in Niagara Falls, New York, and I walked to Cleveland Avenue Grade School, just a couple of blocks from our house.
One day Mrs. Gaul, my teacher, called on me to walk with her. We left the classroom and went down the hall to a room I had never been in. There was a woman sitting at a table. I was nervous, and wondered if I was in some sort of trouble. Mrs. Gaul introduced me to Mrs. Stahl and told me that she was a psychologist, whatever that was. Then Mrs. Gaul left the room and shut the door. Mrs. Stahl had been smiling the whole time, so I assumed I wasn’t in too much trouble, but I still had reservations.
Mrs. Stahl told me that I was a very smart boy, and that I might be eligible for a program for gifted students.
“What are gifted students?” I asked.
Mrs. Stahl said, “Gifted students can learn faster than the other boys and girls. We’re concerned that you, and others like you, might get bored if you have to slow down your learning to the rate of the standard curriculum.”
So I wasn’t in trouble after all. A new fear set in. What she was telling me caused me to wonder if I might have to do a lot more homework.